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[03 May 2009|02:36am] |
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I love you.
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[21 May 2008|01:23am] |
The other night Allison and I yelled things at everyone walking down my street from my window until two guys responded. I was out of toilet paper so I used their bathroom down the street.
Then I stole their toilet paper and left.
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[25 Apr 2008|03:06am] |
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everybody deserves to be adored, why would you settle for less when the world gives you more?
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[05 Apr 2008|03:59pm] |
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Oh look at that, paying rent without a penny from my parents. Yayuhhhh
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| 3/27/08 |
[28 Mar 2008|12:53pm] |
( day off )
I'm moving in this really odd direction .. I want things I thought I didn't before, and comfort sounds so much better these days. So much better.
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[28 Mar 2008|01:04am] |
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Yeah, I don't blame myself either.
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[14 Mar 2008|06:25am] |
I went to see the Bloody Beet Roots but it ended up being inside Pop Scene with a $14 cover I didn't want Ashley to pay for me. I decided to sit across the street and wait for a ride that was never going to come. I decided to walk and got lost and walked toward the bay (stupid SOMA), and finally got myself walking where I needed to be going. I need to get pepper spray. No liquor stores would let me use their bathrooms; they would all let me buy more Sparks. Found myself inside of the bathroom of the Matador doing Jello Shots with sticky hands screaming with everyone "This is the least horrible thing we could all be crammed in a stall secretly doing!" Talked to my 6'6 wanna-be-lovah from last year, over it. Joose outside. Tecate inside. Joose, should be an every day thing.
I couldn't sleep all last night and took two sleeping pills. Right now feels like noon.
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[03 Mar 2008|12:37am] |
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Tried to sleep off the let down, but was woken up by the loudest roommate sex possibly ever. Now I get to deal with the night by myself and asking myself why my insides shift so frequently into being needy. Why everything always goes back to the same thing. Why I can't just can't cross that barrier in my mind anymore. Someone I would like to consider very close to me told me tonight that if I slept around I wouldn't be alone. Shame on them.
I feel like there is a sea of people constantly unintentionally shaping me. I hate that I can't pinpoint individuals that are making me who I am anymore. Every single day I am reminded of a few key people that have made me who I am, and wonder if I'm crazy for thinking of them over the smallest things when I'm walking down the street. New Montgomery Street made me randomly remember running down it crying a few years ago, your back to me and my legs couldn't keep up with your angry ones. I silently laughed to myself, and crossed the street. Stupid kid.
Life used to consist of loud music in my car, always in a rush to get away or get home to bed up and down i-80. Now life is filled with avoiding eye contact on transit mainly going downtown, the 7 block walk to Stephanie's on Haight, or the train to Oakland. Most nights are speakers on my bed, my friends hanging off the edge propped up with pillows while I rummage through piles of clothes on my floor to try to finish getting ready. Casanova's orange walls, my empty food cabinet, my ridiculous text inbox, bike pile ups, I'm still not sure how fondly I will look back on this time in my life in a few years. Possibly amorously, yet glad it was over.
In time, you’ll find needing things only kills you slowly.
If you’re not sure who you are, you’re not alone.
If you’re not sure what you want, you’re not alone.
If you’re not sure of life of love, you’re not alone.
Tell your friends, hey come on over and we'll talk.
You bring the drinks, I’ll bring the bad news.
Everyone feels like you.
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| damnit |
[29 Feb 2008|02:25pm] |
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I already got Notebooked once in my life, then last nights LOST episode put me right back over the edge. Please envision me in my bed with my laptop to my face bawling over a TV show. It just happened.
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| all i know is |
[28 Feb 2008|03:05am] |
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I was in a really weird, semi-depressed mood earlier. THEN! I hung out with my good old buddies Colin and Sean and I am happily at home now with my new Slurpee machine. Slurpee, anyone?
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| Why it sucks being a girl: |
[25 Feb 2008|12:29am] |
Getting followed home and having some random man try to get into my house. And grabbing my arm and AHHH I need pepper spray.
Oh! 5:32AM and still awake! Adrenaline is not a fun thing to experience at night.
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[24 Feb 2008|04:44am] |
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[21 Feb 2008|04:07am] |
I saw her work at the MOMA a few years ago and I still think about how beautiful it was:
( Wangechi Mutu )
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| it was wild |
[19 Feb 2008|02:06am] |
Texts from random guy I met a month ago:
"You're one of those in the moment girls huh. You don't trust men which either means your Dad wasn't around or you've been hurt a lot but I would need to know the average age of the guys you date to answer that. All I know is you're damaged."
Oh. So that's the kind of text I get for finally responding and saying I don't want to get pancakes with this dude. Great. Not all girls are damaged sluts, genius.
( Single Valentine. )
That texter guy is pounding on my window and I'm pretending to be asleep. My living situation would be perfect if my rent wasn't about $200 out of my price range and the couple upstairs didn't sound like they were body slamming eachother between the hours of 11-pm and 2am each night. My lease is up in April. Should I just move to Canada?
I keep thinking my time here is never going to end. No matter what. I'm going to keep meeting the new people who cycle into this city and keep going to their goodbye parties and meet their new friends who are moving in. I bet it would be the same if I stayed in Vacaville. I'd feel like it was never my time to go because a few of my friends were still there. Or even my idiotic thoughts about Sacramento. "Oh, but I can't leave Brigette and John!" It doesn't matter anywhere you live.
On Sean about me moving to Canada:
i'd give it two weeks and even in another country you'll have a dozen new friends
I know nothing about Canada. Where is Toronto? There are cheap rooms there! THANK YOU CRAIGSLIST!
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| mcd |
[19 Feb 2008|01:10am] |
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| extreme flannel |
[17 Feb 2008|10:58pm] |
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music |
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My Bloody Valentine - Several Girls Galore |
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Not gonna lie, I admire Rayanne's style each and every episode. Noooo joke.
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| Hooray! |
[15 Feb 2008|04:52am] |
Our weekend starts on Weeeeeeednesdayyyyyyyyyyy
& we will race the world to get there!
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[12 Feb 2008|01:56am] |
My hair situation is getting absolutely out of control. Last night I was taking my necklace off before I went to bed. In my drunken stupor I didn't care how I got it off and threw it on my bathroom counter. I was showering earlier this afternoon and couldn't figure out what I kept feeling toward the nape of my neck. I finally got ahold of whatever was in my hair, and pulled out a good two inches of gold chain from my necklace that must have gotten caught in my hair and snapped off. What the fuck? I'm going to find a bird in there next, I swear.
I stole these from Sharon:
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fancyclaps's journal
